At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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