I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just pee around me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
