That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
