I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
