dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
bring money and cleavage
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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