After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
