gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
His hands were made for my vagina.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
