Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
