she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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