Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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