yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
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