I think I just saw someone hide a body.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize