If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
