My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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