So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
