She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
