I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
