I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think my vagina is haunted
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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