he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
