Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
