so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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