well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
