everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
