..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm eating all of the evidence.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
