Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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