a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
