Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
