I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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