I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
