If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
