why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize