You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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