my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize