can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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