So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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