do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
