You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
