I like to think it a success when the cops are called
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
