i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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