How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
