You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
