I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
