Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
