the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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