So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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