Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.

Fav 15 4994 1805
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(505): View more from New Mexico

We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.

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(785): View more from Kansas

God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.

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(660): View more from Missouri

I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.

(417): View more from Missouri

It's called being normal.

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(705): View more from Ontario

Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..

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(218): View more from Minnesota

My vagina just clenched in fear

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