T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
