where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
