Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
