i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
