Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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