I hate your face
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
