It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think my vagina is haunted
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
