Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
