5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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