Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
