is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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