Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
