He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
