the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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