sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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