I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
